Letter written to my family on January 2, 2013
I am writing to announce that Hannah and I are pregnant.
After three years of injecting Hannah with all manner of medicinal substances
and five failed attempts at Intrauterine Insemination, all it took was some dim
lighting and a couple glasses of wine (sorry for that imagery Aaron). We are
honestly perplexed. About a month ago we thanked our fertility specialist for
all her assistance and said goodbye. Entering the Christmas season Hannah and I
felt content to live a childfree life with no expectation of ever holding a
child of our own flesh in our arms. The nineteenth century preacher Charles
Spurgeon said that, "Prayer pulls the rope below and the great bell rings
above in the ears of God. Some scarcely stir the bell, for they pray so languidly.
Others give but an occasional pluck at the rope. But he who wins with heaven is
the man who grasps the rope boldly and pulls continuously with all his
might." The Calvinist in me would like to believe that this pregnancy was
all part of God's preordained sovereign plan. However, I suspect that the
reason Hannah is pregnant is because we had so many friends and family boldly
ringing the bells in heaven on our behalf.
We discovered that Hannah was pregnant on December 26th.
Hannah suspected that something was awry a couple days before Christmas.
However, not wanting to ruin Christmas morning with the seemingly inevitable disappointment
that we had become so accustomed to, she decided to take a pregnancy test the
next day. As you can imagine, our initial reaction was shock and disbelief. I
made Hannah take another test as soon as possible and I would have made her
take a third if she had had another. Later Hannah's pregnancy was confirmed by
a blood test. We are still a little dazed by the news and I continue to
struggle with disbelief and fear. It is difficult for me to believe that a
child is growing inside my wife. At this point our greatest fear is that Hannah
may have an ectopic pregnancy (i.e. tubal pregnancy). Because of the damage
done to her fallopian tubes by the Endometriosis, she is at a greater risk for
this complication. In fact, our plan was to make an announcement to the
extended family in a week after Hannah gets an ultrasound that will allow her
doctor to determine if her pregnancy is viable. However, it seems like my
beloved nuclear family is terrible at keeping secrets and some of you have
already heard the news. In retrospect I can't see why it's a bad thing for more
people to know. Certainly we need as many people reverberating the halls of
heaven with prayer as possible. We have learned a lot about suffering and about
God's faithfulness through this journey and I'm certain that God is not
finished with us yet. In the meantime, we feel more blessed than ever to have
such a wonderful support systems of friends and family.
With deep affection,
Adam and Hannah.